We Weren't Always This Cheap

Backtracking here a bit, we weren't always so cheap. Frugal yes, but certainly not cheap. My partner Mary and I had made another indie film called Beautysleep Symphony which had a respectable budget.  We even spent some big bucks for some famous actors. Dee Wallace was the biggest! And lots of fun! Dee really commits to a film when she chooses to be involved.

We even spent some of our hard-found funds in having it budgeted. The man from Budget Bone told us it was going to cost $2.2 million, but we tightened our belts and did the film for considerably less. But by the time we had finished post-production on it, distributors were not giving much out in the way of advances, and we'd have to sign the rights off for 5-7 years and most filmmakers weren't getting a penny back from that.

So we came up with the idea of really paring down the budget for our next one. I had had this idea for some time about two morons who don't know much about making films on their quest to film the cheapest superhero movie ever. It was meant to be a spoof on the superhero movies, and yes that was achieved, but it succeeded on another level as well. We seemed to even spoof ourselves.

In order to get this one done, we found a warehouse where we could shoot 90% of the film and shot the first two days on location at my house. We allowed only 10 days to do the film and although the film had over 50 characters, we limited ourselves to six actors--four men and two gorgeous women. I had to play five characters myself. Mary got her usual 2 seconds of screen time. Most of the rest of the xtras came from the crew or the generous volunteers who helped out. We even went to the pathetic practice of making the xtras out of cardboard.

(In a side note: I was an extra on the film Ali, even sitting in the front row during the Sonny Liston fight. The production assistants had us spread out and put cardboard extras on the seats between us. I turned to the young man from Montana sitting nearly next to me, who was experiencing his first movie experience and said that we were in trouble, because no one was ever going to see us. I was right!)

We figured we'd make a movie so cheap, that it couldn't fail to pay for itself. And that was the genesis of Pathetically Cheap. For your information, we haven't reached our goal yet, but we are thinking of an even lower budget drama  about a former CIA agent trading jabs with his psychiatrists who specialize in role-playing. It's a thriller that just might put us on the map! What's the word for a step beyond pathetically cheap?

What Kind of Nutjob Does This?

You know, I'm glad I make movies. I'm glad I spent my life doing plays, and writing screenplays. I'm glad I have the fire to continue to do it. So many people burn out. They put everything on the line and they tell themselves, "All right, this is where I draw the line. If this project doesn't wow them, if it doesn't make money, if, if, if." And then it doesn't perform up to expectation and they go into real estate. Well, not real estate any more. But they have to quit because they gave themselves an ultimatum. They drew the line in the sand, and now they honor their "word." But they can at least say they tried, which is more than a lot of wannabes.

If Van Gogh had stopped painting because no one was throwing money, think how much smaller our art world would be.

Some of us have this insatiable desire to connect with people through our storytelling. Either through the theatre or through film, and I'm sitting here with only a handful of people who think our DVD is worth buying and yet I still have the desire to make another film? Where is my good sense? Where is any sort of balance? I'll leave that to you guys, who have picked up and moved on, but want to experience vicariously the thrill of still holding fast to a dream.

(While we're being vicariously connected, you could prove to be benefactor by ordering Beautysleep Symphony or The Pathetically Cheap Adventures of Xtra-Man). Okay, that was a shameless plug, so sue me!

Why does anyone continue to chase his dreams? I don't really know. And the reasons can differ greatly from one dream-weaver to another, but it seems to be something that we just have to do. We can't explain it. It's irrational as hell. But it's what we have to do. We keep at it. We've seen others give up. We've come close to giving up. It's hard to persist when you're not being validated. It's not unusual to feel diminished a bit. But not vanquished. Oh, god no! "Never give up! Never surrender." (Galaxy Quest)

Memories From the Stage

It was quite another adventure--doing a madcap little stage production, (the precursor to our film THE PATHETICALLY CHEAP ADVENTURES OF XTRA-MAN). As usual, stage work seems to take a much greater time than film work. It isn't that simple, of course, but most actors rehearse privately for film work, but they get their butts worked off in the theatre--rehearsal after rehearsal. It makes sense. You're up there with no net. No cutting to redo it. What you see is what you get. I think that's what makes it kind of exciting.

Valerie Hager was the young woman who played Subtitle Girl and she did the part very enthusiastically. She even dressed for the part during rehearsals (which made the rehearsals that much more fun). Subtitle Girl jumped onstage every time a film term came up, and read a giant cue card out loud in a very sexy voice. The cue card explained the film term to people who were civilians. Certainly silly. But lots of fun. Valerie was one of the favorites. Years later when I was able to contact her about the film version, she was a member of SAG for a number of years and declined to be involved, although she gamely came to the house and did one of the first readings of the screenplay. These talented people come in and out of our lives in intense flashes, partly because you're all under the gun to create something and every cell in your body is racing to make something magic happen. When it works, it's fulfilling.

One of the other cast members also succeeded in stealing the show every night. His name was John Sarkisian. John was unforgettable with his shaved head, searing eyes, and wild mustache. He was a former Hells' Angel, but had changed his life around and was acting now. He played Killer who was the not-too-bright boyfriend of Danna White. Killer often interrupted the play, but ended up playing one of the characters in the play within the play. Lots of laughs from that guy; the audience just adored him. Later, his phone stopped working and I tried to call him. No luck. So I called his agent who told me that John had died. It always stuns me a bit. The journey here often ends far too soon. Here's to you John. We will always remember you!

Where It All Began

This wild and wacky journey to making a laugh-a-minute indie feature began with a story I wanted to create that would be an offshoot of the life I had lived in the theatre for 24 years. I directed and produced over 130 plays and musicals in those years, and I thought it would be fun to use some of these theatrics in film. Of course, it would seem silly, but not to the character I had created. He was just doing the effect the only way he knew how. His budget was almost non-existent so he had to be creative. No real cars. No great scenery. Nothing fancy. But with a lot of heart.

With my partner, Mary Lewallen, I had already produced and directed a romantic dramady  called Beautysleep Symphony. (Logline: A small town journalist decides to put some passion and fun back into her life by writing a scandalous novel only to discover that thinking about sex all the time can be hazardous to her health. Her alter-ego coaches her through her escapades until Connie stumbles upon a secret which permanently frees her from her former life.) Sounds fun, yes? We finished the film, had a private screening, and found ourselves jacked at the possibilities of our film. We contacted lots of distributors, but alas, we found none willing to give us an advance (very few indies get advances these days). And that was even with some actors with a little clout: Dee Wallace, Max Gail, Adoni Maropis, James Hyde, and Suzy Cote to name a few. So we thought, okay, why don't we do a movie so cheap that it will have to make money? Now that was a real challenge!


The original idea took the form of a stage play. I was helping out a company (the Actors Group in NoHo) that brought casting directors in to give workshops for actors. The play began to take shape when they let me have access to their small black box theatre. I auditioned actors, cast the play (which was called The Cinematic Adventures of Xtra-Man), and set about rehearsing with a tiny cast in a tiny theatre with a monumental idea that would include flying and superhero things. Okay. It was a stretch. And 7 or 8 people saw it. Mostly friends of the cast. I ran the lightboard and the sound and we had some fun. But it was just plain silly. No one took it very seriously. But it was a beginning. And don't we all love beginnings?